NVC Retreat
There had been three modules of NVC with Locana during our first year of Dharmaduta, and various combinations of people had joined us for these. Then a 10-day retreat followed in August. We had around twenty people for the retreat, and we were also joined by Shantigarbha and Jayaraja as facilitators. This proved to be very valuable, as we had lots of expert guidance in the small group exercises.
It was rather scary to sit down together on the first day with no agenda and no 'leader'. Locana simply suggested we spent time discussing how we wanted to form the retreat, practising NVC in the process. We would not do anything without full consent from everybody. This proved to be a fascinating, if not gruelling and sometimes extremely frustrating process, which went on for a whole day! However, we managed to 'sit tight' and eventually came to a form which everybody felt comfortable with. We then posted our own requests for themes and the three facilitators also posted up workshop themes that they wanted to offer.
Each morning anybody could offer a poem or thought and lead a short discussion. Then we would decide on the program for that day, choosing from the requests and offers on the board. We then each chose our workshops and had a review at the end of the day. IT WORKED! The hard grind on the first day really allowed for a space of freedom to open up between us, which led to a deep, honest sense of connection with ourselves and one another because we were totally engaged and co-responsible.
There was much discussion around NVC and the Dharma, especially in respect to so-called feelings and needs. I can only say that NVC helps me to really experience my feelings in a very alive way. The practice of self-empathy brings greater clarity and allows going beyond ego centricity. Simply acknowledging something in oneself non-judgementally is healing, and often enough to let it go. I experience NVC as a potent tool of the Dharma, making me more aware of when I fall into strategies that are not working because I haven't connected to the real needs of the other. That's what we managed to do at the beginning of the retreat, and it opened up a truly magical space.
Yvonne Greenaway
It was rather scary to sit down together on the first day with no agenda and no 'leader'. Locana simply suggested we spent time discussing how we wanted to form the retreat, practising NVC in the process. We would not do anything without full consent from everybody. This proved to be a fascinating, if not gruelling and sometimes extremely frustrating process, which went on for a whole day! However, we managed to 'sit tight' and eventually came to a form which everybody felt comfortable with. We then posted our own requests for themes and the three facilitators also posted up workshop themes that they wanted to offer.
Each morning anybody could offer a poem or thought and lead a short discussion. Then we would decide on the program for that day, choosing from the requests and offers on the board. We then each chose our workshops and had a review at the end of the day. IT WORKED! The hard grind on the first day really allowed for a space of freedom to open up between us, which led to a deep, honest sense of connection with ourselves and one another because we were totally engaged and co-responsible.
There was much discussion around NVC and the Dharma, especially in respect to so-called feelings and needs. I can only say that NVC helps me to really experience my feelings in a very alive way. The practice of self-empathy brings greater clarity and allows going beyond ego centricity. Simply acknowledging something in oneself non-judgementally is healing, and often enough to let it go. I experience NVC as a potent tool of the Dharma, making me more aware of when I fall into strategies that are not working because I haven't connected to the real needs of the other. That's what we managed to do at the beginning of the retreat, and it opened up a truly magical space.
Yvonne Greenaway
posted by Dharmaduta at Sunday, October 15, 2006
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